more Star Wars amusement

[somedaybitch]

whoa. drugs are baaaad.

this could arguably be the funniest hallucinogen-induced drivel i have ever read. ever. i'm just stunned. and let me add a caveat here. i am one of THE largest fans of the original trilogy in existence. i loved those films. i think the third was the weakest of the three because that's when Lucas' cheese-factor and 12 year sense of humor really started to gain control, but still, the originals are solid. yeah, there's some dialogue one could argue is cringe-worthy, but somehow it just plays....like, Gimli in Two Towers asking what madness drove the hobbits into Fangorn. uhm, raging Orc hordes?

the second trilogy, otoh, i am VERY proud to say, has never earned a dime of my money. i owe this to Frank, that bastion of Star Wars fandom. God love him...and his drug reps. free tickets and Newcastle are your friend./foj

eta: er, much snark commentary, and also a plea to you to go actually read the whole thing. i just can't do it's stunning inanity justice. as themonkeycabal wisely opined, "i think lucas would just prefer the blowjob." she also thinks the author lost a football bet and hence, the article. the moral here, children? never bet on the Redskins.

heh

so...on to my favorite bits of drivel....

Everything about the films, from the opening text crawls to the out-of-order production of the two trilogies, foregrounds the question of plot. As an audience, we grapple with not just the intricate clockwork of a complex and interwoven narrative, but, in postmodern fashion, with the fundamental mechanics of storytelling itself.

yeah, i grappled...with the total lack of plot because all the stupid bastard cared about was making CGI people in CGI cities. yawn. hell, he could have MADE money during filming if he'd dropped a dime on the 501st Legion. they would have PAID to be stormtrooper extras, AND brought their own costumes. loser.


and

Most significantly, we start to notice that the films are an elaborate meditation on the dialectic between chance and order. They all depend upon absurd coincidence to propel the story forward.

gee, dude, where i come from that's called bad storytelling. there's a HUGE difference between *actual* chance, ie, the droids landing on Tatooine after escaping from the ship - where one could logic that since Leah was actively looking for Obi Wan, it would make sense that she was near Tatooine - to *contrived* chance, ie, Lucas deciding to write for no discernible reason the idiocy of boy!Anakin making his very own protocol droid, just so he could put C-3PO in the damned movie.

and this bit...

As viewers, we take pleasure in the implausible events that must happen for the narrative contraption to snap shut in a satisfying way.

no, actually, we don't. what kind of pleasure do i take exactly from dialogue like, "Look. A poison dart." Gosh, Obi Wan, you're brilliant. You been mainlining CSI?

and possibly my absolute favorite bit...

But the characters come to understand that there is another agent, external to themselves, that is dictating the action.

yes. that would the monkey at the keyboard.

i think i just laughed up my spleen.

Comments

[eve11]

Star Wars apologetics. Eep, scary!

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

That article might as well be subtitled "Or, what happens when you have too much time and way, WAY too much education."

Cra-zy.

[themonkeycabal.livejournal.com]

My theory is that he actually lost a bet and had to write a long pompous article on the vast depth and meaning of Star Wars, or his buddies were going to set fire to his undies, drive his Harley into a sewage canal and hit on his girlfriend in front of his mother.

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

You'd think he would have gone the route that let him keep his self-respect.

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

i dunno...Harley into a sewage canal is pretty harsh, yo.

[wishkey.livejournal.com]

It's like some Cinema Studies student's mid-term really awful essay. Gaaa-ad! Makes my brain cells cry...

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

YES!!!!!!! or some wanker on a SW message board.

[arthurfrdent.livejournal.com]

diiiing-diiiing-diiiiiing...give the lady a kewpie doll...

I think for my money the cartoon network clone wars stuff is pretty good, although the dialog is actually WORSE, and that'll prolly fry your brain, although there isn't much in it...

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

contents in my brain, or dialogue in the eps?

[arthurfrdent.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing* dialogue, kid. dialogue...

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

just checkin'. ;)

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

OMG, you're not serious. I'm afraid to read it for fear it will warp my brain.

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

DUDE! you MUST!!!! it's frakkin' hysterical. seriously.

[cofax7]

Hey, I linked to that, like, weeks ago! You're behind the curve, babe!

And yeah, someone was totally overthinking the whole thing. Rather like some folks around here, though... *g*

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

Hey, I linked to that, like, weeks ago! You're behind the curve, babe!

i wouldn't have found it all except for the mini SW gif movie. it was on the same page.

[spiderbaggins.livejournal.com]

FYI.
never bet on the Eagles either.
Or for that matter never bet on any professional team from Phila.
But for some reason I still support them. It must be morbid curiousity.

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

heh.

[(Anonymous)]

umm......okaaaaay.
Anakin's virgin birth
What, he's Jesus now? OMG
lolol Please tell me this is a prank gone bad.

[somedaybitch.livejournal.com]

i so wish.

[arthurfrdent.livejournal.com]

hey... mediclourians are actually a horny bunch. who knew?

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Okay, that anon. comment was from me. Didn't realize I wasn't logged in.
And, just to reiterate-WTF?