shredded at the Achilles Tendons

now i know what it feels like.

i am apparently solely responsible for what projects get "approved" or not at sfs.com. whatever that means. cuz lord knows i am capable of overseeing the personal actions every single Scaper out there and i will punish they who defy me.

i have staff at my beck and call for the sole purpose of sending them in to kill off project ideas. wow, you guys. it's a shame ya'll aren't capable of independent thought. cofax, dani, britangie, buggs, jmax, whiskey, et al...sorry about that. guess i stole your brains from you.

i delete threads in the CS forum that i don't agree with, campaign-wise.

and my favorite....

i am not allowed a personal opinion. not. allowed. as in, don't get one. as in, have no right to one. i got told that tonight.

know why? come on, you know you wanna know.

i am not allowed a personal opinion because i am an institution. who knew i was an institution. gosh, my mom would be so proud.

i'd love to be able to just sarcastic this away. pretend it doesn't cut me to the bone, but i can't. a knife between the shoulder blades just doesn't go away.

fans have donated their hard-earned money and their precious time to projects, again and again and again. i just can't, in good conscience, support a project that, in my opinion, you know, the one that i'm not allowed to have, doesn't help reach the goal of more viewers for Farscape. so maybe i'm just out of touch. maybe the goals changed and i didn't get the memo. maybe the goal now is to harass Bonnie Hammer. and maybe another goal is to harass the press, because, you know, they don't know who we are. no one's heard of the campaign to save Farscape, and sending press releases because some fans have tables at conventions, or have sent plastic eyeballs to Bonnie, is more important than trying to recruit new Farscape fans to help the mini be as successful as possible. i know if i were a member of the press, that's the kind of stuff i'd want in my inbox.

the fans don't deserve to have their time and money wasted. but it seems like, at least online, i have been rendered useless. my fault? you bet. i shouldn't have expressed my opinion. i should have just kissed ass and agreed with every thing out there, not made any waves, not worried about how fans spend their money, not worried about whether the campaign maintained a professional image, cuz we're just wingnut fans, right? who cares what we think, what shows we watch, what we think is quality. we're just geeks in our parents' basements with no lives. our opinions don't matter. the Industry can go back to ignoring us.

before i reached this point, i was the one that would quietly try and remind red that the campaign was worth everything we've put into it. i don't know that i believe that anymore. i see Ben Browder's face on the spine of a DVD on the bookshelf across the way, and all i feel is pain. deep, aching pain. i was publically stripped of my voice, and now i can't even seek solace in Farscape, because i can't even get near the package. it reminds me of all the things that i've apparently done wrong because i was trying to do what i thought was right.

yes, i edited the naming of names out. so if you haven't read it already, you snooze.

yo Death Eaters, you all want the campaign? you can have it. i wish i could tell you that i hope it crushes you too, but i don't wish the way i feel right now on anyone.

and while i'm ranting....let me rant at BritAngie. that dog. how *dare* she make me feel better, and remind me with just a tiny paragraph how worth it this all really was for the people that matter. hating her. pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb

shredded at the Achilles Tendons

now i know what it feels like.

i am apparently solely responsible for what projects get "approved" or not at sfs.com. whatever that means. cuz lord knows i am capable of overseeing the personal actions every single Scaper out there and i will punish they who defy me.

i have staff at my beck and call for the sole purpose of sending them in to kill off project ideas. wow, you guys. it's a shame ya'll aren't capable of independent thought. cofax, dani, britangie, buggs, jmax, whiskey, et al...sorry about that. guess i stole your brains from you.

i delete threads in the CS forum that i don't agree with, campaign-wise.

and my favorite....

i am not allowed a personal opinion. not. allowed. as in, don't get one. as in, have no right to one. i got told that tonight.

know why? come on, you know you wanna know.

i am not allowed a personal opinion because i am an institution. who knew i was an institution. gosh, my mom would be so proud.

i'd love to be able to just sarcastic this away. pretend it doesn't cut me to the bone, but i can't. a knife between the shoulder blades just doesn't go away.

fans have donated their hard-earned money and their precious time to projects, again and again and again. i just can't, in good conscience, support a project that, in my opinion, you know, the one that i'm not allowed to have, doesn't help reach the goal of more viewers for Farscape. so maybe i'm just out of touch. maybe the goals changed and i didn't get the memo. maybe the goal now is to harass Bonnie Hammer. and maybe another goal is to harass the press, because, you know, they don't know who we are. no one's heard of the campaign to save Farscape, and sending press releases because some fans have tables at conventions, or have sent plastic eyeballs to Bonnie, is more important than trying to recruit new Farscape fans to help the mini be as successful as possible. i know if i were a member of the press, that's the kind of stuff i'd want in my inbox.

the fans don't deserve to have their time and money wasted. but it seems like, at least online, i have been rendered useless. my fault? you bet. i shouldn't have expressed my opinion. i should have just kissed ass and agreed with every thing out there, not made any waves, not worried about how fans spend their money, not worried about whether the campaign maintained a professional image, cuz we're just wingnut fans, right? who cares what we think, what shows we watch, what we think is quality. we're just geeks in our parents' basements with no lives. our opinions don't matter. the Industry can go back to ignoring us.

before i reached this point, i was the one that would quietly try and remind red that the campaign was worth everything we've put into it. i don't know that i believe that anymore. i see Ben Browder's face on the spine of a DVD on the bookshelf across the way, and all i feel is pain. deep, aching pain. i was publically stripped of my voice, and now i can't even seek solace in Farscape, because i can't even get near the package. it reminds me of all the things that i've apparently done wrong because i was trying to do what i thought was right.

yes, i edited the naming of names out. so if you haven't read it already, you snooze.

yo Death Eaters, you all want the campaign? you can have it. i wish i could tell you that i hope it crushes you too, but i don't wish the way i feel right now on anyone.

and while i'm ranting....let me rant at BritAngie. that dog. how *dare* she make me feel better, and remind me with just a tiny paragraph how worth it this all really was for the people that matter. hating her. pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb