(no subject)

[somedaybitch]

she just called me at work to tell me that if i didn't even have 5 minutes to call her because i was sooooo busy, then i should just stay home tomorrow and "rest".

i almost just told my mother to fuck off.

i apparently haven't done enough for her because i make her ask other people to do stuff for her because i refuse to let her run me completely ragged. apparently it's my duty to be my mother's slave. guess my refusal makes me a bad daughter.

ahhhhhh, cold wedding-day-quality rage. good times. [the ex and i, having lived together for 5 years, saw no need to blow a shitload of money that we didn't have on a wedding that we didn't want. so we had a civil ceremony and didn't invite anyone but the witnesses. heaven forbid we should be able to do what we wanted on our wedding day. i wasn't gonna call her. she'd made her point. but the ex, bless his heart, said that i should give her a chance and call her after the ceremony. so i did. she hung up. why? because i didn't have a wedding because *she* wanted one. she's still pissed about that to this day.]

stupid me wanting to try and get a career going that isn't awful and soul-sucking and doesn't make me loathe my fellow human beings and routinely give me nightmares, and stupid me trying to work hard so i can pay my debts off like responsible adults should be because i irresponsibly earned them in the first place. how dare i try to learn from my mistakes and take responsibility for my actions. what the fuck was i thinking?

and she continually wonders why my brother goes 6 months at a chunk without speaking to her.

yeah, i hung up on her again. right after i confirmed if she wanted me to pick her up tomorrow or not. she said no, she'll have my uncle do it, and i said "fine" [great word, that.] and hung up.

i feel myself reaching for the knife to cut my nose off with, and not really caring.

also? if i wasn't currently so angry, the fact that she thinks "neurotic" means "mentally unstable" would be pretty funny. alas.