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Mar. 2nd, 2005 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
somedaybitchMy mother tells me the last thing he was talking to his nurse about right before he went to sleep was me - about how I was graduating in May, about how I had plans for the law school and the Navy, about how I was going to move to Maine to be closer to them this summer. I wish he could have seen me graduate.
the day i got the phone call from the hospital to come, while there was still time, i had insisted on working grave overtime, partly because i wanted something to do as i knew i wouldn't have been able to sleep. got off at 0600 and got woken up by the phone call at around 1030. the drive was, odd. i moved rapidly, and yet didn't hurry. i knew what was coming and yet i didn't cry on the hour drive there. my mind was, almost quite literally blank.
i walked in the hospital, got in the elevator, walked down the hallway, walked into the room. i remember my peripheral vision noted the looks of sympathy from the nurse's station, right outside Larry's room. my brother was standing next to my mom, she closest to the head of the bed, on the opposite side from the door. i heard my brother tell Larry to look, that i was there. i said something, although i don't remember what. i was there maybe 2 minutes, maybe, and he finally let go and died. he'd apparently been unaccountably holding on for a couple of hours and they couldn't figure out why. we knew why. *i* knew why.
I wish he could have seen me graduate.
he will, sweetness. he will.
the day i got the phone call from the hospital to come, while there was still time, i had insisted on working grave overtime, partly because i wanted something to do as i knew i wouldn't have been able to sleep. got off at 0600 and got woken up by the phone call at around 1030. the drive was, odd. i moved rapidly, and yet didn't hurry. i knew what was coming and yet i didn't cry on the hour drive there. my mind was, almost quite literally blank.
i walked in the hospital, got in the elevator, walked down the hallway, walked into the room. i remember my peripheral vision noted the looks of sympathy from the nurse's station, right outside Larry's room. my brother was standing next to my mom, she closest to the head of the bed, on the opposite side from the door. i heard my brother tell Larry to look, that i was there. i said something, although i don't remember what. i was there maybe 2 minutes, maybe, and he finally let go and died. he'd apparently been unaccountably holding on for a couple of hours and they couldn't figure out why. we knew why. *i* knew why.
I wish he could have seen me graduate.
he will, sweetness. he will.
